Aprender a Amar...

Sitting at a little cafe in Monteverde, with the music from a festival in the immediate background. Beautiful breeze caressing my little more then sunkissed skin. To describe how I am feeling would almost undermine the actual state of mind. To put it simply... I feel pretty damn good. Of course there are going to be periods where my mind hasn't and will not be in the best of places, though its during these times that teach you the most. I love when I am down in the gutter because I know that my soul is growing and maturing. Once you emerge from the dreariness you feel more at peace with oneself and with those around you... Hopefully, if you have learnt what you needed to learn in the process... For myself I have just emerged from this temporary dreariness and I feel so much more in my skin, experiencing the good and the not so good consciously to the best of my ability.

Allowing and Acceptance in Life's Experiences...

I have currently been in Costa Rica for about 6 weeks. I have done a lot, met quite a different bunch of people, read 11 books and counting, as well as realizing what I must do to continue growing myself.

Since I have been here I haven't been able to continue the asana aspect of my yoga practice, which is quite detrimental to me. I have been able to do a couple meditations though not as much as what I am used too. Quite literally no personal space to allow myself to think, as I am writing this a baby is crying beside me for an example. With all of this I know that it is not doing any good for my mental, emotional or physical being. In this conclusion I am dying to get back home and get back into my being. I have allowed myself the distance from home to learn what it is that makes me happy and alive. As much as I love this country and my family here, it is not doing me any good at the moment. In fact I am feeling farther behind spiritually and emotionally here then I have felt in a while...

Feeling is Believing...

Sometimes life can toss you a curve-ball that can be easily hit. You may even be lucky enough that when you strike this curve-ball, you might just get a home run. Other times this mysterious life can throw you a hard-ball that may leave dust flying in the wind. When the latter happens it can be difficult to shake off the dust, relax and make a new swing hoping for the best. When I find myself facing the decision whether or not to get back on the batting plate, I must allow the feeling of remorse from the previous miss to just be. 

We can not change how we feel after a difficult situation, we must accept how we are feeling while putting it to the side. However, never forgetting. It is extremely challenging to allow and accept what we are feeling, especially when it is a feeling of sorrowfulness or heartbreak. Though these experiences may be difficult, it shapes who we are, how we respond to similar situations and how we view the world. Now that is the beauty in heartache.   

Bright Lights Through the Window...

I have finally come to a point in my life where I am living in the moment. Living in each undeniably beautiful moment can cause immense joy, clarity, and freedom. Having this ability to really acknowledge and enjoy how our bodies are reacting, how the rain is wonderfully playing with the earth, how we even notice our thoughts changing from each moment is transcendental. Sadly though to experience this on a spiritual, emotional, and physical way with every passing second is next to impossible with what life tosses at us. What does matter is being aware of when you are not experiencing this and trying to bring your focus back. Having been practising this for a little while now, along with some Pranayamas (breathwork), yoga and mediation I have had life altering moments. Moments where you suddenly release those useless, stagnant feelings and it seems as though you can clearly see the gorgeous world again in all that it entails. Now I know that I still have a lot of work to do on all my chakras, but I have experienced an opening. An opening brought on by finally living these fleeting moments. An opening that has allowed me to strive for more.

Simplicity..

Its so incredibly important to find someone who fits into your life as you live it.
If you travel, find someone who also loves to travel.
If you love the feeling of change, then find someone who is also addicted to that unknowing feeling.
Find that person.
Do not settle for less then you deserve. And trust me, you deserve the world.

Airing the dirty laundry...

Its been awhile of not writing again, and I have had this one idea in the back of my mind. This idea lately has been slowly pushing its way through the garbage in my head and poking its head out and shouting at the top of its lungs "Its me! I think its time to acknowledge that I am here!" But then I quietly push it back through the garbage and bury it with my dirty laundry. 

Now I know that this is something that we all must do, however it is when we do this that we can never fully grow to our potential. Its when we can acknowledge what in our life we regret, loath or resent with all our passion and work through it. I know this is something I have been struggling with the past couple of months, and I am no where close to having a garbage free mind, but I am in the process and it is quite the journey.

Comfort in memories...

Being alone is one of the saddest states of being there is. To be alone with your thoughts and only your thoughts is one of the scariest things to do. That's why so many humans strive for the comfort of friends or even just the company of a beloved pet to cure this. But when one is truly alone with their thoughts it is when they learn who they are and connect with their inner being.
I am feeling this today. It started when I had this incredible over whelming sense of loneliness, and I started to hurt, I actually felt the pain of being completely alone. It suddenly dawned on me, that I need to learn to love being with my own thoughts to be able to be comfortable with myself as a whole. Its a terribly hard task to just sit alone and think to yourself. But it is one of the best things for someone to do when they are feeling lonely or simply because they need to work situations out. I have found out that I need to write my thoughts down to understand what it is I'm thinking. Others my need to simply take a candlelit bath and still their mind, or maybe you have to draw it and visually see what you're thinking. Whatever it is that enables you to actually think, do it. Everyday. Cause when you put it on the back burner, it will continue to boil up over the edge until it comes poring out over the sides. So just take the extra ten minutes before bed and think about the day, think about how you reacted to situations, think about how you might have impacted someone else's life today, think about all those you love and you will realize that you are not alone. I'm not just talking about romantic love, but paternal love as well. Every person that you have loved at one point will always be with you even if it is just in your memory. It will always be there to comfort you.
Every time I start to feel alone, I think about my family and how great it is to have them in my life. And each time I think about them, I send them white light and I continue on knowing that I am not alone..

New Beginnings...

Life can be confusing, chaotic, irrational, and many get to the point when it just doesn't seem to be worthwhile but life in the most purest of forms is most importantly... wonderful.

Every human on this beautiful planet have negative moments like these, where it feels as though there is a cloud forming above you that will never leave your sight. When these bitter emotions come out and you focus always on whats going wrong around you, the somber cloud will always be there.

Now the challenge is to overcome these thoughts and feelings and replace them with those positive ones that we all are capable of experiencing, some may have an extremely tough time looking for some good in their life but there is always something.

Life always has at least one positive thing whether it be a caring neighbour, loving partner, or just a stranger passing a genuine smile... there is always something.
Practice being consciously aware of the wonderful things in your unique life and that is when the abundance starts to slowly come to you. Those powerful negative energy's have the ability to grab a hold and squeeze you till there is no life left; unless you find those wonderful reasons to tear that hold off.
Once you start to focus on what it is thats good in your life is when this life will become all that you want of it.

Without a doubt you will achieve the joy of life.

Moving forward...

Well well, here I go once again.
I am having quite a difficult time trying to figure out what I can write. So I shall just start typing and hopefully something half decent will come out of it...
I believe that things happen for a reason.
From the people you have loved in your past, to the special someone who now has your love.
From the experiences which may have tortured you for years, to the amazing little moments that you will never forget.
From the people who leave your life as fast as they came in, to the people who will always be in your life.
These all play a major role in who you are. It is a hard task to understand how these situations and people have changed who you have become. I am still trying to decipher some things that have happened to me, and I still have not found why some of the horrid things had to happen at all. The only thing I know is that I have learned how to forgive the past, love in the moment, and dream for the future.


"Love who you love with all that you have,and don't waste time that flies so fast." ~ Rascal Flatts

Calling Me Home...

I feel as though I have a problem arising.

I feel as though I am unable to be happy when I am stuck in the same place for a while.

I feel as though I get into a routine and I will not be able to break it.

I feel as though I must break routine.

Even if this means going back to a place I will always call home until I find another place to throw myself into.

Even if this means moving away from the mountains that call me.
I must...

I must do what my heart and soul brings me to do.

One packed red bag...

Its getting so close that I am able to envision the mountains while I am looking out a moving car window, I am able to feel the excitement and flood of relief I will feel once I step out of that airport. It is almost starting to hit me...

It is the fact and knowledge that one has the ability to get up and go where they feel they are needed.
We all have this amazing ability to realize within ourselves that when we find a chance to improve our life experience we take it. Whether this unconscious talent is hidden underneath that nagging voice construing the idea itself into a negative, unrealistic idea or simply putting doubts in ones head, we always take the experiences that would mean the most to us.
Though some may say that they missed out on some experiences, or they took a wrong turn, its only that they perceive it in that way. Those people have not missed out on anything, they simply followed what they knew subconsciously as the correct choice for themselves.

Lets just say its destiny.

Riding on...

When its time to move on with your life, its hard to get up the enthusiasm to pursue something new and different. If it is something that you know above anything else that this life change would be the best thing that could happen, you do not falter. And with this you don't need to work up the enthusiasm to get out of a rut, you are able to without hesitation jump on your feet and go where you need to go.
This is the point where I am at in my short lifetime.
I have the opportunity to move to a place where I know it will bring me closer to where I belong in my life, and I am pouncing on it. Though many people have discouraged me and saying that I will fail, it has not depreived my hope nor confidence.

The only thing that these people don't know is that, that discouragement is the fuel to my fire.

"Doing things differently leads to something exceptional." -Absolut Vodka

Sex in a canoe...?

Kayaking, whitewater rafting, boating, swimming, and of course the refreshing drinks of corona and lime. This is what my long weekend involved. I am amazingly grateful for this break, without it I would believe I would've gone insane.
Being in the outdoors and just viewing nature in its purest forms gets me higher then any drug.
Its one of those things that a person like me can't live without.

I am truly going to miss these days when I head out, however I know that I will be enjoying new adventures that will always be engraved in my mind.

Loving the life...

Living this life is more then just lust or want

riches or poor

Its more then partying or shopping

games people play or toying with a heart

Its when you dont care as much about the money when you have all the love in the world

Its about having the love in your life that conquers all of your downfalls and encourages you during the high times

Its when the people in your life are the only things keeping you sane

Alarm going on out the window...

7 weeks and counting.

7 weeks till I am on my own.
Something that I am quite nervous about, but indescribably excited.
I realize now that, when I was a little youngin I would wish away my life and just wish that I was older, now that I am finally here, my only regret is not realizing to love and enjoy every moment of life.
I realize that this moment, this very instant, is the fraction of time that I should live in.

Not wishing that I was younger or older and wiser.
I should not focus on whats going to happen in the future, or what happened in the past, because time is now.

Every moment should be used to love everyone around me, and trying not to think negatively.

That is what I should be doing every moment.

That is what everyone should be doing every moment.

Fuzzy socks...

When you set your mind on a goal or a dream, there is absolutely nothing that can stop that dream from coming a reality. The only obstacles that one faces while trying to reach their aspirations, are the obstacles that one creates. When someone is always trying to find a reason why they are unable to reach their ultimate goal in life, they will without exception find something to stop them in their path.

With me, I have a goal...

Well... multiple goals.

Whether one may be a ridiculous dream,

Or one that I know I will inevitably reach

I somehow have an amazing ability,

I can discover anything and everything that would stop me on my ultimate journey

Though this may briefly interrupt my path

I can always overcome it.

This I have come to realize is due to my desire and ambition to reach that ridiculous dream of mine..

Vodka in the corner...

Time goes by so fast that its hard to comprehend that this very moment will never come again. Its those moments that make enjoying the little things in life that much more difficult. When one tries so hard to capture the whole memory, that they are only able to get the big picture , without actually looking at each individual detail that makes the picture.

Like looking at each piece of life, whether it be a person, animal, tree, or wild flower, you're able to remember the memory in more of a zen like way; for lack of better words. What I am trying to say, is that the feeling you get is a feeling of hope, joy and that there is even something more then just human life out there.

I am not saying that there is a God, or even that there isn't one, its just a feeling that one gets.... or at least a feeling that I get...